Are you a princess or a wizard?
Pardon the pun but there is a truly magical moment at the beginning of the movie, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001). Harry is an orphan who has been neglected, mistreated, and emotionally abused at the hands of his guardians, Aunt and Uncle Dursley. The Dursley’s son, Dudley has been bullying Harry for years. At the age of 11 years, Harry is visited by Hagrid, the half-human, half-giant, who is the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hagrid has come to whisk Harry away from this dreary existence so he can begin his studies at the school of magic.
Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels
Harry seems confused at his invitation to attend Hogwarts. Why him? What’s so special about a boy who was forced to sleep in a closet under the stairway of his aunt and uncle’s home?
Hagrid turns to Harry and says, “Yer a wizard, Harry.”
In that moment, Harry’s life is transformed. For most of his young life, he had been told he was nothing special. That he was a burden. That he didn’t matter.
With those four words, Hagrid pulls back the curtain and reveals that Harry is special, unique, and significant. Harry has a gift. He has special abilities. He matters.
This theme of a person’s hidden talents being revealed by some mysterious person is a fairly frequent trope in modern entertainment.
In the movie, The Princess Diaries (2001), Anne Hathaway’s character, Mia Thermopoulos, is a shy, nerdy, student who is teased by her popular peers in high school. Her life is average and unremarkable until her estranged paternal grandmother, Clarisse, shows up to inform her that she is a princess and the heir to the European Kingdom of Genovia. In that moment, Mia sets off on a life-changing adventure of discovery and coming-of-age.
Even Will Smith, playing New York City cop, James Edwards, in Men In Black (1997) finds out that he has heretofore unknown talents for dealing with the hidden aliens amongst us. The MIB organization recruits him, changes him name to “J” and gives him an opportunity to put his natural abilities and special skills to work for all mankind.
We are intrigued by these popular stories about these types of talent-revealing moments where some stranger reveals our hero’s or heroine’s special powers, skills, or knowledge. We see ourselves in the protagonist and we wish someone would knock on our door unexpectedly and tells us we’re a wizard, we are royalty, or we are alien wranglers.
Bad news: There’s no half-human, half-giant riding a motorcycle showing up to reveal your true calling and secret talents.
Good news: You have natural abilities and unique skills that may be hidden inside you.
We want someone to tell us we are special and significant because we want to have an impact on the world around us. We want someone to tell us these things because it’s hard work to figure it out ourselves. It would be so much simpler if someone would just tell us what we should be when we “grow up.”
There is no Hagrid, Grandmother Clarisse, nor some shadowy MIB-like organization to guide you to your calling. You’re going to have to do the work yourself but, once you do, you’ll feel liberated.
Use the following exercises to become your own muse, your own liberator. You are the author of your story. Don’t settle for reruns.
Back to the Future
When you were 12 years old, what were you passionate about? What books did you consume? What shows or movies or music fascinated you? How did you spend unstructured time? Did you prefer playing with friends or working alone on some project? Did you draw, write, dance, play music, play sports, or something else?
Once you’ve done some free writing about that first set of question, try to see if there are patterns emerging in your answers. What are the common themes? Write about “why” you enjoyed these activities and interests. Are there some aspects of all this you would like to explore in the future? Make a list and begin doing some research on them.
Brag List
Get some paper or get your laptop fired up. Begin making a list of any and all of the following items. They can big or small, recent or past. Your goal is to have a list of at least 50 items when you’re done.
Awards you’ve won
Accomplishments you’ve achieved
Professional compliments you’ve been given
“Thank You” notes or messages you’ve received from customers, co-workers, managers, friends, or family
Personal moments of pride – things you did that made you feel alive and significant
After the list is complete, put it away for 24 hours. Let it simmer in your subconscious. After 24 hours, review the list and circle the top five items on the list. The top five items should be the things that make you smile widest and feel best about yourself.
Once you have your top five, do some free writing in your journal about the reasons why these items seem so important to you. Are there common themes? Does each one of these items resonate with a core part of your personality? Do you get to use the associated skills in your current role?
What do you want?
My first career coach, Ken Lizotte, used a very simple technique to help me gain clarity on my dream career. During one of our coaching sessions, he sat across from me and asked a simple question: “What do you want?”
I blurted out some answer which was probably convoluted and meandering. I’m sure I struggled to define my calling on that first response. When I was done, he simply asked me again, “What do you want?”
I answered again. This time a bit more thoughtfully.
“What do you want?”
“What do you want?”
“What do you want?”
The question kept coming at me – persistently but calmly. My answers got sharper and shorter. I found myself synthesizing all the conversations I’d had with Ken and with others as I tried to figure what I wanted to do with my career. Eventually, the answer coalesced into two simple sentences:
“I want to help people. I want to teach”
The persistent repetition of the question forced me to re-examine every previous answer and find the kernels of truth in each subsequent round. Eventually, my professional mantra emerged. Notice that my final answer was not about what I wanted to be. I wasn’t saying that wanted to be a teacher, to be a professor, to be a trainer, to be a professional speaker. I was saying what I wanted to do. I was stating that I wanted to help and to teach. In the current mélange of my career, I help people and I teach in a variety of ways that resonate with me. I teach at Bentley University where I also help students find their career passions. I speak professionally and I facilitate workshops where I help people and organizations develop positive mindsets and strive toward their true potential. My consulting work is centered around helping people and teams achieve more while enhancing their skills.
You might not have a career coach like Ken but you can run this exercise with any person you trust who is willing to help you. Just sit across from each other in a quiet space. Have your friend ask “what do you want?” repeatedly. Their tone should be neutral and calm. Let the exercise run for as long as possible. I’d estimate you need at least 20 minutes to get to the good stuff.
If you don’t have someone that can help, recreate the sequence in your written journal for a few weeks.
Open your journal, write down the current date. Write down the question, “What do you want?”
Begin writing and don’t stop until you’ve exhausted today’s thoughts.
Put the journal away until tomorrow.
On the next day, repeat the exercise: Write the date and write “What do you want?” in your journal. NOTE: Do not review the previous day’s answers. You want your subconscious mind to develop a sharper and better-defined answer for each day.
Begin free writing until your thoughts run out.
Put the journal away for another 24 hours.
Repeat the sequence for 21 days.
After 21 days, your answer should be a much clearer picture of the types of activities you want to do in your career. Take note and begin seeking those types of opportunities.